TRIGGER WARNING: RAPE AND SIZISM
had to post this…. I know I posted something else ages ago pretty much saying something like this. I am still appalled by someone actually thinking that rape is ok just because it was a fat woman who was violated.
The discussion about fat people and rape NEVER HAPPENS ENOUGH. We’re getting raped all over the place because we’re ‘easy targets’ and then told we should be thankful??? I have not once, EVER seen a thin person mention this, even when talking about the intersectional nature of rape occurrence.
I thought my rapist loved me because he was willing to have sex with me. The mental disconnect astounds me when I look back on that night 12 years ago. I said no several and he kept on going. I just laid there. He hurt me, I bled, he yelled at me for bleeding. It was the first day I had known him. I started dating him and he was sexually and verbally abusive the whole time. It took a long time before I would even talk about it.
When my therapist said, “So, he raped you.” The statement shocked me. I didn’t want to believe that I could be raped. I just thought to myself, “Who would rape a fat girl.”
This is just one more reason why I’m all for teaching people of all shapes and sizes that it is okay to love yourself and you are not subhuman because of the way you look and you never EVER deserve to be abused, raped, or mistreated and you sure as hell should NEVER count yourself as thankful for being raped.
I remember being younger and my friends havng the conversation about what they do to protect themselves from rape (carry keys etc.) and thinking “at least I don’t have to protect myself from rape because I no-one would want me”, not realising that the guy I was with was an abusive rapist who took advantage of my insecurities.
This is why I get so angry about “SJ” on Tumblr not caring about FA. I see y’all discussing the subtleties of power differentiation, and the complexities of intersectionality and lived experiences, and I see fat people erased EVERY GODDAMN TIME. It’s like the fat experience is so irrelevant there’s no point in mentioning it. Either that or your brain isn’t registering it as a real oppression.
We’re dying around you because doctors can’t be bothered to treat us, and we’re being raped and told to say thank you. Where the fuck are you thin people?
When my ex boyfriend’s abuse towards me was exposed, people were more shocked that he WANTED to have sex with me, rather than appalled that he raped and beat me. This post rings so true for me.